My Birth Story

I always enjoyed reading birth stories. Especially when I was pregnant and didn't know what to expect. So, I thought I would share mine!

-Content Warning-

This chapter may not be suitable for all audiences (birth story details outlined, descriptive in terms of birth process, content may be triggering for some depending on how their own birth experience went)  **Alias names used for privacy**

Now 

Beads of sweat rolled down her face. “Get out!” Emma screamed. She had been at this for over two hours. “Oh, I see him! He’s coming, his hair is jet black” Emma’s sister, Leighton said. “Nevermind, he went back in now” Leighton withdrew. Over and over again, Emma’s baby’s head surfaced and then disappeared again. The initial excitement of meeting her son faded to frustration. 

“Check his heart rate please” The doctor frowned as she directed the Nurse. Whisperings were muttered by the women gathered at the end of her bed as Emma writhed in pain. 

“Okay Emma, your next push needs to be it. The baby’s heart rate is starting to drop”. 

Emma’s own heart sank. She was already giving labour everything she had. No one wanted this baby out more than she did right now. 

Each time Emma would push it felt like everything down there was going to rip right open. Only a few hours earlier, she had been sitting at a cafe having a smoothie with her husband, Nate. 

Before 

Emma wanted to do some curbside walking at her and Nate’s favourite park down the street from the cafe where she and Nate just grabbed smoothies. She had just watched a TikTok preaching that curbside walking was helpful to induce labor. She surely wasn’t about to try any hot sauce. 

The intense pressure of feeling like she had not peed in two days even though it had only been about ten minutes was getting to be too much for her. It was time for her baby to have his own space within the world outside of her belly and off the top of her bladder. 

Emma and Nate waddled around the park together. Emma stepped up and down again and again from the thick ledge of the cement edging the sidewalk and the pothole filled road. It felt like Emma was lifting a concrete block strapped to her stomach and swinging the block back and forth. This curbside walking was causing Emma to work up a sweat and lose her breath. Although, lately she probably could have lost her breath from just standing still. Damn that TikToker for making her do this. Emma decided that she had enough curbside walking for today. 

Nate drove Emma to her Chiropractor’s office. Emma had religiously been going to “widen those hips” for a “smooth birth experience” throughout her pregnancy.

The chiropractic appointment before included a lesson for Nate in acupressure. Each night since, Nate had been squeezing Emma’s ankles in hopes it would result in Emma squeezing out that baby. 

As Emma walked by the front desk, the Receptionist seemed surprised “You’re here, still no baby huh? You can go ahead back for your adjustment.” she said. 

“Click, click, click” Emma listened to the familiar sound of the pop gun tool her Chiropractor traced down her spine every week for the last two years. The Chiropractor squeezed her ankles and said “I hope I don’t see you next week.” “I hope I don’t see you either.” Emma replied. 

When Emma and Nate got home, they were greeted by their first baby of the furry variety. “Hi Beau, we’re happy to see you too, mister.” Emma smiled. 

Emma had been looking at her beloved dog Beau with a little bit of sadness the past week. She knew her time of Beau being the center of their world was coming to an end. They would soon have to figure out how to balance their attention between him and the tiny human baby. 

Emma waddled herself past their front entrance and over to the kitchen where she poured herself an iced tea. An iced tea she knew she would feel in her chest a few moments later. If Emma had a dollar for every time someone told her how much hair her baby was going to come out with she’d have a good start on her baby’s RESP fund. 

Emma felt pressure in her lower back. She had been having back pain on and off over the past few days. The back pressure would get intense and then subside. Oddly, Emma felt excited about her pain over the last week. It meant she was going to be meeting her son soon. This past week’s pain was kind of like a fun internal guessing game Emma got to play. She was calling the game contraction roulette. “Is this a contraction or just pregnancy pain?” She wondered. 

Her adorable husband Nate had grabbed a dry erase marker starting a few days ago and was  writing the times the pressure would get more intense down on their fridge to try and see if the timing was close enough together to call the OB team. 

Emma leaned over their kitchen island waiting for the pain to pass from a recent bout of back pain dominos. She told Nate she was going to go lay down for a little bit. 

Beau triumphantly clicked his nails against the hardwood floor as he dotingly followed Emma’s heels towards their bed. Emma laid awkwardly against the side of her pregnancy pillow, Beau on top of her feet.  

About an hour later, Emma heard this “pop” sound. Then all of a sudden, everything was wet. Her favourite pregnancy sweatpants and freshly cleaned bed sheets were soaked. It couldn’t be. Could it? “Nate, we have to go! My water just broke” Emma exclaimed.

Emma could see the anxiousness hiding behind the portrayal of calm Nate was trying to project. “Okay,” Nate said. Then the two of them hastily headed for the car that had already been packed and ready to go for a few days. Emma saw Beau watching them from their front door’s window as they reversed down their driveway for the last time as just the two of them. 

On the drive to the hospital, everything felt so rapid. Emma’s pain intensified and was very frequent. “I hope this baby isn’t born in a car” she shouted. 

Forced calmness radiated again from Nate as he said “we’re almost there.” It was about seven-thirty at night as Emma and Nate arrived at the entrance of the Emergency Room. Nate blew the car door open. Emma tried to lift herself up off the car seat and down to the ground but could not. She mustered up the words to say “I think I’ll need a wheelchair.” 

Nate wheeled Emma into the building. Emma thought it must be weird sitting in the Emergency Room with a broken toe or a stomach flu and casually witnessing someone storm in about to add a person into the world. 

Emma and Nate got up to Patient Registration. Emma felt flustered. “Do you have your health card with you?” The Clerk inquired so nonchalantly it hurt. Could he not see there was a chance a baby was going to fall out onto the floor in front of them? 

Nate fumbled through the bag to grab Emma’s health card. The clerk took the card and told them to go through the doors straight ahead, turn left and then go up the elevator. 

A Nurse, Ava, made eye contact with Emma as she rolled through the doorway of the Obstetrical Unit. “Hi Emma, we’re going to get you all set up in room 203 over here. I put a gown for you to change into on the bed. Once you are dressed, we’re going to check your cervix to see how dilated you are, okay?” 

Leighton, Emma’s sister, is also a Labour and Delivery Nurse working on this unit. She was with another patient as Emma got the rundown from Ava. 

Emma managed to get into the gown but could not comfortably get onto the bed. Ava came back with Leighton who was just coming off her twelve hour shift. Leighton wanted to stick around as long as she could to hopefully watch the birth of her first nephew. 

Ava had just checked Emma’s cervix and announced with surprise that Emma was already seven centimeters dilated. “Woah, nice work Emma!” Leighton praised. 

Ava told Emma it was time to set up her IV. “You have really nice veins” Ava said to Emma who appreciated the distraction. However, Ava’s distraction attempt didn’t make things hurt any less. Emma was getting stabbed for the second time as Ava attempted putting her IV in. 

By the third time, Leighton had asked if she could give it a try. Must have been a sister’s luck because Emma’s IV was finally in. 

Emma could still not get comfortable on the bed so Leighton suggested trying an exercise ball she brought from a closet full of them in the corner of the delivery room. Emma thought it was a bit funny seeing an overflowing closet of exercise balls as if she was just about to start a Tuesday night group workout class. Maybe it was how the hospital foreshadowed the marathon that birth would be. Although, the exercise ball was great. Emma felt like the pressure was reduced a bit. About twenty minutes later, Emma began to feel nauseous. “Could I have a bag please?” she asked unsure if they would even have something like that on hand. 

To Emma’s surprise, Leighton wasn't phased in the slightest by her request. Leighton handed Emma a plastic bag from a drawer in the delivery room. Emma tossed up the smoothie from earlier into the bag accordingly. 

“We’re just waiting for the Doctor to arrive to do your next check.” Ava said. Emma was trying to focus on bouncing the exercise ball. Another sorry attempt at not thinking about how much pain she felt. 

Emma was always a bit skeptical about using medication or drugs. Yet, she was open to the epidural and felt eager about it up until she had arrived. 

There was something about being in the moment of it all that made Emma wonder if she could attempt birth without one since she had already made it this far. Emma also felt anxious about the large needle going into her back which was already on fire.

The pain kept boiling over on Emma. She couldn’t ignore it anymore. “I think I want the epidural now please” Emma said to Ava. “Okay, we can give you some fentanyl to start since the Anesthesiologist will take some time to get here” Ava advised. Ava administered a half dose of the fentanyl. 

Leighton rolled over a green tank which had Emma a bit wide eyed. “It’s nitrous oxide” Leighton reassured. Leighton handed Emma a mask “Put this on and breathe through it with each contraction.” 

Ava said she was going to do another check of Emma’s cervix before she called the Anesthesiologist. Ava went quiet. “What is it?” Leighton asked, puzzled looking. “She’s nine centimeters.” 

Nate looked at Emma encouragingly. “I'll let the doctor know right away,” Ava said as she practically ran out of the room. 

The Doctor on call that evening, Dr. Grace came back a few moments later. Emma was ecstatic as Dr. Grace had been the Doctor she had been hoping for the most out of the five possible Doctors she could have had deliver her son that night. Emma had the chance to meet each of the five Doctors throughout her prenatal appointments and she always felt the most comfortable with Dr. Grace who also happened to be one of Leighton’s favourite Doctors to work with. 

“Are we ready to have this baby?” Dr. Grace  started out energetically. Dr. Grace’s optimism alluded to a false hope that this baby would be arriving any moment now. 

Now 

“Ava, can you please call Dr. Seymond to arrange for the vacuum?” Dr. Grace asked. 

Ava scurried over to the phone on the wall across the room still just within Emma’s view. Leighton was using an ultrasound wand to track the baby’s heart rate. 

Ava came back over “Dr. Seymond is on his way. He should be here within thirty minutes” Dr. Grace retorted, “I’m not sure we have that kind of time.” 

“Start the Oxytocin,” Dr. Grace added. Ava ran the Oxytocin through Emma’s IV. “Okay, Emma when you feel the urge to go to the bathroom; that’s when I need you to keep pushing as hard as you can. Don’t worry about anything else.” 

“Is my asshole still there Leighton?” Emma shouted. Leighton couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes Emma, it is still there.” 

“I’m afraid it’s going to rip right open.” Emma gasped. “No Emma, it’s not going to rip right open. Just push as hard as you can the next contraction and let’s get this baby out.” 

Emma had been put into just about every position you could have thought possible. Ava joked that it’s the same positions that get you into this birthing mess that also get you out of it.  Emma  had tried being on all fours, she had tried squatting, she had tried standing, the positions were “limitless” since she hadn’t had the epidural. On one hand, this was a “perk” of not having had the epidural but on the other hand it was exhausting. 

Emma’s next contraction started out. Thanks but also not thanks to the Oxytocin this contraction was much longer than the previous ones. The short contractions were mostly the reason Emma was still pushing two and half hours later. The other reasons included Emma’s inability to pee. Emma had a catheter hooked up as a first attempt to get her pushing properly. 

“Get out” Emma screamed as loud as she could while she pushed so hard she thought she might combust. She felt a new sensation. The burning kind. Emma’s mother had told her that birth felt like someone was holding a blowtorch to your vagina. Her mother wasn’t wrong. Emma channeled literally everything within her to push through. The burning turned to a scalding feeling. Emma felt this for a few minutes and then she felt a new feeling. A pulling feeling. It was Dr. Grace yanking Emma’s baby out. Then, it was like a magical fire extinguisher came and put the fire out. Emma didn’t feel any pain anymore. 

“Uhh-uhh-ahhh” She heard her son’s voice for the first time. “Oh my god look at the hair on this little one.” Dr. Grace said. “His hair is like jet black Emma.” Leighton said. 

“I told you those babies don’t like being threatened with the vacuum Ava” Dr. Grace smiled. 

Ava asked if Emma was ready for the baby to be placed on her chest. Emma nodded. 

Emma looked at her son. He was so curious and alert for their first encounter. He peered up at her with his beautifully piercing steel coloured looking eyes and full head of hair. Then he flopped his little head down on her bare chest. Nate took the first photo as a proud new dad. “You did it” he beamed at Emma. “I love you both so much,” he added. 

Everything seemed so calm for a moment. Emma suddenly felt the exhaustion catching up to her. She started to lay back and soak her first moment with her new baby in. 

Then, another Nurse Emma hadn’t seen yet came into the room. She placed a stethoscope on the baby. All of a sudden, this Nurse grabbed the baby up off Emma’s chest and put him in a little plastic bin across the room. 

“Leighton, where are they taking him?” Emma asked. “They just need to check him out for a second Emma.” Leighton tried to reassure her. 

Dr. Grace rushed over to where the baby was in the plastic bin. Emma watched as another Nurse came in and then another one. Dr. Seymond finally arrived followed by an Emergency Room Doctor. Emma saw a whole circle of health care workers standing over the plastic bin her baby was contained in. 

Leighton stayed with Emma. Emma was in a delirious state. She couldn’t tell what was going on. Emma just looked over and saw that her baby was a bit purply. She saw them putting a mask over his little tiny face. 

“Start CPAP” Dr. Grace said. A few minutes went by. Leighton went over to check in with her team. “Should we start CPR?” One Nurse asked. “No, we need to clear the mucus from his lungs first.” Leighton added. Dr. Grace nodded her head in confirmation. 

Leighton came back over to see how Emma was doing. “Dr. Grace, I think we need to address this” Leighton said as she observed the bleeding Emma had. The other Nurses said they had the baby situation under control while Dr. Grace attended to Emma for a minute to stitch her back up. 

“Hi Emma, I’m going to start by applying a topical freezing to the area.” Dr. Grace gathered her supplies off of a tray. “This will pinch a little bit.” Emma could barely focus. She just laid there within another place inside her mind. 

After what felt like an eternity, the Nurse brought Emma her baby back and put him on her chest still attached to the equipment that was monitoring him. She placed the baby’s mouth near Emma’s breast and got the baby to latch. 

Emma just laid there again for another hour or so only about half conscious as the Nurse continued to hold Emma’s baby to her boob. The Nurse took the baby away again when the baby was done feeding to clean him up and run more tests. 

“Okay Emma, since you didn’t have an epidural we’re going to have you walk to your room.” Emma nodded but was still confused. She wasn’t going to stay in this room? Emma tried to hurl herself over the side of the bed. The Nurse handed her what looked like a rack with wheels and a seat for her to sit on.

Emma and Ava arrived in the bathroom of her new room. Ava wanted to give Emma the rundown on the after care routine. “Okay Emma, I just want to warn you that you might not recognize yourself down there when you go to wipe.” 

Emma nodded. Ava gave Emma some more after care instructions and showed her where all the supplies would be for her next few days here. 

Emma thought she would fall right asleep once she was set up in her new bed. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. She could not stop shaking. It was way more intense than a shiver from the cold. It was a much more violent unstoppable shake. 

Just as Emma thought she was about to close her eyes again, a Nurse came in and said “Hi Emma, we’re just going to do a quick assessment of your abdominal area.” Emma heard this assessment sucked. Boy did it ever. The Nurse started off with a gentle press around her tummy and then a firm push on her tender insides followed. 

Nate brought Emma some ice water and snacks. They had half a moment alone and then their baby was wheeled into the room in his little plastic bin. They watched him in awe. 

“We will have a chest x-ray completed in the morning to ensure all the mucus has been expelled. His blood sugar looks good and his other tests went fine. Push the little blue button behind you if you need anything!” 

After the Nurse left, Emma and Nate watched their baby snooze away in silence. There were too many words to be said to Nate but not enough energy to say them. 

In the morning, Nate brought Emma and the Nurses a round of coffee. Everyone needed it after the long evening they all had bringing Emma and Nate’s son into the world. Emma couldn’t help but notice the donut Nate brought. She devoured that. 

It was hard to explain the sense of relief Emma felt that she faced her biggest fear of giving birth. It was also hard to believe she was now able to hold the little person she grew on the outside. Emma finally knew what his little face looked like. She knew the sound of his little croaks. She couldn’t believe how he fit in her stomach these past few months. 

Looking at her stomach, things were weird. Everything felt like it was displaced. Were her organs in the right spots? Emma thought if she laid on her side that her insides might just slide over with her. 

Aside from Emma’s thoughts about her internal organs; Emma and Nate were in their own little bliss bubble. Yet, not for too long. Emma’s mom was on her way to meet her first grandson. Emma’s dad had just flown in from out of province and would be coming the next day. 

When Emma’s mom came, she brought flowers and cupcakes. In one hand, Emma’s mom held a little gift bag with a stuffed sheep enclosed for the baby. In her other hand, she had a blue balloon that said “welcome baby”

Emma’s mom, Evelyn, was in awe of her sweet little grandson. She held him tightly to her chest and you couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if you took a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to it. 

After a few hours of visiting, Emma’s mom said she was going to let Emma get some rest. Evelyn said she looked forward to coming back tomorrow with Emma’s dad, Charles, who was very eager to meet his grandson. 

After Emma’s mom closed the door, a Nurse wearing a bright pink sweater caught the door from Evelyn to come in and do another assessment. The Nurse also handed Emma her dose of Tylenol and Advil for the morning. Emma had still not slept since the night before the baby was born. She tried to rest after the Nurse left but found it impossible to close her eyes and sleep. 

Nate was passed out in the chair beside her. He looked exhausted. Their baby was fast asleep in his little plastic bassinet. The sound machine Emma’s boss bought for Emma’s son played calming ocean sounds while the beautiful muslin swaddle blankets Emma couldn’t wait to swaddle around her baby for the last few months were wrapped snug around his tiny body as he snoozed. 

Nate had been asking Leighton for swaddling lessons. He watched Leighton mesmerized as to how she wrapped his baby like a pig in a blanket appetizer. Every time he swaddled his son, like Houdini, the baby would burst out. 

The Nurse in the pink sweater popped her head back in the doorway and said she was going to take the baby to do another round of tests. Emma nodded her head tiredly. She watched as the Nurse wheeled her baby out of the doorway. 

Nate had woken up from his nap. He and Emma chatted for a few minutes before Emma started to feel a sense of panic. She realized this Nurse wasn’t wearing regular looking scrubs. She looked at her phone and saw it had almost been an hour since the Nurse came and grabbed their son for the tests. 

“Nate, that Nurse has been gone with our son for a long time. Can you go and see where they are? I want to make sure I didn’t just let some random woman wheel our son away” 

Nate went into the hallway to go and investigate. Emma sat there playing the encounter with the Nurse over in her head. The Nurse had no badge that Emma saw but seemed so confident and calm about what she was doing. 

Thankfully, Nate returned with the Nurse who had said that the baby was being a little bit feisty about some of the tests. So it was taking her longer than usual. She said all the Nurses now knew exactly which baby he was by the sound of his strong voice. He knew what he wanted and he wasn’t afraid to ask for it or let them know when he didn’t like something. 

Emma felt her chest relax. She figured she ought to be a bit more attentive when the Nurses came in to avoid this feeling of panic. 

The next day, Emma’s mom and dad returned. “Do you have a phone charger?” Emma’s dad asked her. He assessed her to see if she was going to have a look for him. Emma looked back at him sideways as she laid in her bed and didn’t plan on getting up unless it was absolutely mission critical. Getting up off the bed was like working up the motivation to go for a strenuous hike. Everything hurt when she moved and her legs felt like Jello each time her feet touched the floor. As if her father would connect the dots on that though considering he had never delivered a baby himself. 

Evelyn swatted Charles. “What the hell do you need to be worried about charging your phone now for Charles?”. “Sorry, it’s almost dead. I forgot to plug it in last night after I got home from my flight.” Evelyn rolled her eyes. 

“Awe, look at this beautiful little fellow” Charles gushed. Evelyn picked her grandson up out of his bassinet. “You can have him in a minute Charles” Emma noticed her dad was wearing flip flops and seemed restless. When Evelyn handed her grandson to Charles, Charles started walking around the room with him. Emma was uneasy. “Dad, why don't you sit in the chair and hold him.” 

“Sure Emma” Charles rolled his eyes and sat down with his grandson in the chair as Emma had instructed. The pacifier fell on the floor. Charles walked over to the sink that was in the centre of Emma’s room attached to the wall. He rinsed the pacifier with water and just about put it back in his grandson’s mouth. “Oh, we need to wash that with some soap first dad.” “Oh no you don’t Emma. Back in our parenting days we didn’t even rinse them and you survived.” 

Emma could feel herself getting annoyed. She was running on fumes of adrenaline and she knew her hormones were all over the place from having just helped exit a human into the world. She mustered up the calmness she needed to diffuse this situation. “Just give him a new pacifier please” Emma sighed. 

A short while later, it was time for the baby to feed again. “I’m going to try and feed him now dad” Emma took her son and tried to get him to latch again. Emma wasn’t sure what the right move was. She realized that she might make her dad feel uncomfortable getting undressed in front of him. “I’m going to get undressed to feed him dad. I’m not sure if that bothers you or not.” “It doesn’t bother me at all,” Charles reassured her. 

For someone so incredibly small, Emma’s son really did have a big voice just like the Nurse in the pink sweater had said. Emma’s son was very frustrated trying to latch. The Nurses had been in many times each day trying to help Emma figure out the breastfeeding. “You have to just jam your boob into his mouth Emma” her mom said. If only it was that simple. 

Emma had tried everything the Nurses suggested to get her baby to latch. The Nurses brought Emma these little plastic shields to try and help her baby connect the dots. The Nurses were enticing the baby with a little syringe at one point that had colostrum in it. They named him a “lazy feeder” 

When one of the Doctors came in later that afternoon to ask how the breastfeeding was going Emma felt like a deflated balloon. She thought she was a failure because she couldn’t even feed her own son the way a mom “was made to.” Posters surrounded her, promoting that “breast was best” with a large graph chart depicting the cost of formula for the year. 

The Doctor asked if Emma was keeping up with the pumping. “Your breasts are quite swollen and we don’t want you to develop mastitis. Please make sure you’re pumping for twenty minutes every two to three hours.”

One of the Nurses had nicknamed Emma “Dolly Parton”. Emma lived up to the name. Emma couldn’t believe the size of her boobs. If her boobs got any bigger, Emma figured they might actually explode. 

Nate had come back with a round of Starbucks. “My parents will be here this afternoon.” he said. Emma looked at Nate and the liquid gold he was holding for her. “Sounds good, now hand me that drink before it levitates itself over here by the sheer amount I want that iced chai latte right now” 

When Nate’s parents arrived, they said their hello’s and sat by the window. Nate brought them their newest grandson. “You guys must be so in love” Nate’s mom said. Nate’s parents didn’t stay too long. It wasn’t their first grandchild rodeo and they knew Nate and Emma were wiped. 

Emma looked at her phone for the first time in awhile. Earlier, she had texted a few close friends and family the news that their son had arrived. She saw sweet messages of congratulations. Irritatingly, one of Nate’s relatives shared their son’s birth announcement to a family Facebook group. Nate and Emma hadn’t yet publicly shared the news themselves. Emma was too exhausted to say anything about it. Since the news was already somewhat out, she decided she would share their own short and sweet announcement to her Facebook page. 

One of the messages on her phone was from her dad. He had asked if they would be bringing the baby to see Emma’s ninety-year old great grandmother. “We can get a five generation photo while I’m home over the next few days” Charles said.

Emma didn’t plan on doing the photo. It was still hard for her to get on and off the bed. The thought of packing up her newborn and driving in a car for an hour seemed awful. Emma felt guilty to not prioritize this photo opportunity that was clearly important to her dad. However, she felt an overload going on in her own brain. Different priorities like figuring out how to feed her baby which didn’t even closely compete with getting this photo. 

Emma decided to put her phone away for awhile again. It felt like she and Nate got to be on this private island where the rest of the world had turned off to them. As if time was standing a bit still for them right now. 

On the third day of their hospital stay, the sunshine outside started to make Emma feel angry. She wished she was outside sitting on her front porch relaxing. Nate was a stir crazed mess. Emma thought he might go insane if they didn’t get released soon. 

One of the Doctors came in the morning to talk about the plan. “We recommend that you stay another night due to the feeding challenges. We want to make sure your little one is set up for success before he goes home. It is going to be a really hard first few nights at home for you both as it is without the feeding challenges on top. We plan to have the night nurse take over a bit more for you guys tonight as well as I’ve heard that Emma still has yet to really sleep over the last few days.” 

Nate was frustrated. Emma, although tempted by the bright outside world; felt a slight sense of relief. The thought of going home in this delirious state even though the bed at the hospital may have left her in a permanent “V” shape made her anxious. 

That last night at the hospital for Emma and Nate was rough. When the night Nurse came in to talk about her plan for the evening it was polar opposite to the Doctor’s vision. The night Nurse said she planned to try and let Emma and Nate figure it out on their own as much as possible since it would be their last night at the hospital. The Nurse said to try and only ring the call bell if they really needed her help that night. 

The baby was up every single hour on their last night in hospital.  As the night Nurse had requested, they tried to only ring the call bell when they were really stuck with the feeding. Plus, the Nurses that night were swamped with a complex delivery down the hall. Emma thought thank God I’ve already been there and done that part each time she could hear this poor woman in the delivery room screaming down the hall. 

Nate tried to take over as much as he could for Emma to try and let her rest. He unfortunately did not have a working pair of milk producers like Emma did though. So about every two hours, Emma was on the job again trying to feed their little man. 

Emma tried to gather all the supplies in advance each time. She tried to get the nipple shield ready, the syringe loaded with the milk to entice her baby and spark his interest enough that he would latch. 

Her smart little baby had figured out that if he just waited half a second longer that more milk would come through the syringe. He would latch onto Emma's nipple, realize nothing was freely coming out like it did from the syringe and then he would scream at Emma. Not understanding why he was being cut off. 

Emma ended up just grabbing one of the bottles Nate had picked up from the store on one of his previous coffee runs. She put some of the pumped milk she had in a storage container into the bottle and her baby lapped it up from the bottle with no fuss at all. 

When the morning rolled around, both Emma and Nate were bursting at the seams to go home. 

The Doctor came in around ten in the morning. She had asked how the feeding had gone. Emma said she planned to continue with pumping and bottle feeding her son the pumped milk. 

“Oh you are going to exhaust yourself doing that” The Doctor cautioned. “Plus, it will cause nipple confusion for your baby.” “Maybe, but I am also going to exhaust myself if I keep trying to get him to latch and he isn’t latching.” The Doctor reassured Emma that the latch would come. She discussed some local resources for Lactation Consultants that were available to them through a Public Health Program. “The Lactation Consultant can come right to your house and coach you with the feeding right from your couch. Do you want me to arrange for her to make a visit?” 

“Sure, that would be great,” Emma said. Although, she was not optimistic that the feeding was going to get any easier. She had felt like she had tried every possible feeding tactic known to woman over the last four days in hospital with no luck. 

After the Doctor established a feeding plan with Emma she went over some final discharging notes with Emma and Nate. The Doctor mentioned for Emma to book a six week postpartum check up to assess how things had healed. The Doctor also encouraged them to get the baby in with their Family Doctor within the first week of discharge. She explained a bit about the health card process and said the Nurse would bring them a package with information about his other required birth and government documentation. The Doctor said the Nurse would be by shortly to do a car seat check and then the three of them would be on their way. 

After four long days, Emma was going to see outside again. She and Nate got a nice family photo against the OB Unit’s “picture wall”. Emma and Nate said their final round of thank-you’s and goodbyes.

Emma watched as her husband swung the car seat back and forth as he walked with their son towards the exit door. Nate had their car parked out front in the drop off zone where he clicked the car seat onto its base and closed the car door. He got into the driver’s seat after he had asked Emma if she needed any help getting onto her seat. She did not. 

Emma did find it pretty uncomfortable sitting on a car seat after everything she just went through. Over the past four days she had the luxury of laying flat on her back. For the first time, she had to sit directly on something and she adjusted herself probably twenty times before finding a way that felt bearable to sit. 

Emma looked over at her son who looked even tinier in his big car seat that swallowed him up. She held his tiny little hand on the way home and smiled to herself as she thought about how they did it. She was a mom now.