Tips For Creating "Pawsitive" Experiences Between Your Fur Baby & Child

If you had a dog before you had a baby, I bet that dog was treated like your whole world. I know ours was (and still is). 

Before our son was born, fear was imposed upon us by others warning that our relationship with our dog was about to change. Many people cautioned us that our beloved Johnny boy was soon to be forgotten and become bottom of the barrel to our son. 

For me, part of having a positive parenting experience included finding a good balance between our fur baby and our child. Our dog, Johnny, has always been a key part of our little family. My husband and I rescued him when he was just one. As a rescue, we invested significant time training him. He has been to agility, obedience and most recently, private training with Rachel of Endless Pawtential. Rachel was phenomenal with Johnny and worked with him on a few key commands we wanted in place before our son was born. 

Our son has since arrived and is now almost mobile. So, I thought I would reach out to Rachel again. Only this time, I asked her if she would be interested in being featured on the blog to share her tips for how to create a positive relationship between a dog and a child. 

Balancing the needs of both a dog and a child can be a lot. I find this especially to be true given the nature of our dog. He has always been very attached to his people and I know it was hard for him to adjust to not being the centre of attention at all times. It was hard for us to adjust as well. We try to include him as much as possible but our son is only now getting to the age where they can do things together. 

Rachel says when it comes to fostering positive interactions between your child and your dog, “depending on your dog’s comfort level with the child there are various training games you can do. Some games include having your child feed your dog treats. If the child is not old enough to do that, you can treat your dog for any calm or avoidance behaviour (such as moving away from the child) when around the baby. I always reward avoidance when introducing babies as I’d prefer the behaviour of avoidance over aggression.”

Speaking of aggression, Rachel adds that there are a few signals your dog might be giving that are more subtle than a typical “aggressive” response. 

Subtle warning signs to watch for include:

- Whale eye (when you can see the whites of the eyes)

- Yawning

- Turning away/looking away/moving away 

- Lip licking

- Appeasement licks (licking the child’s face in attempt to create space)

It’s important to note that dogs usually offer these subtle signals first. Another trainer we worked with in the past taught us that your dog is not likely to go straight to a bite unless they are continuously ignored and learn that nothing else works. 

When we worked with Rachel last Winter, she taught us that dogs communicate very differently than we do. They may not always growl or snarl to indicate they aren’t happy about something. We learned a lot about how dog’s use eye contact to communicate. If your dog is staring, they might be trying to tell you or another dog something. To give context, our dog will often stare if he wants a resource that someone else or another dog has (it’s not always as obvious as you might think). We have gotten into trouble a few times when we missed this stare because if we miss it, he will often go for the resource with what seems like no warning even though in Johnny’s mind he’s like “Well, I was politely staring at you for it first.”

I had noticed that Johnny was taking more of an interest in our son's toys. In fairness, they look very similar to his toys. We keep Johnny’s toys in his own bin. We recently invested in a large playpen where we keep all of our son’s toys separated as well. 

I was also recently pushing our son around in the backyard in his little baby sled. Johnny thought it was a super fun big stick because it was made out of wood. So he kept trying to chew the bottom of the sled while I was pushing my son around. Another trick we learned for this in training was to offer a trade. So I offered him his own stick instead and he usually goes for it. Part of my plan is to try and start small with outdoor play together. Johnny is very used to the yard being his space. So I want to gradually introduce our son playing in the yard to and try to make it a fun experience so Johnny doesn’t associate it as our son taking his space over. 

On the topic of play, it is my own opinion (I get this topic ruffles some feathers) that children should be taught how to be respectful of dogs. What I mean by that is I don’t think allowing children to pull on a dog’s ears, tail or generally get rough with the dog or do things that make the dog uncomfortable is very respectful behaviour to encourage. Most family dogs will tolerate it of course but as a dog gets older and they become sore or less patient it would be my fear with our own dog that he might snap and worst case scenario, bite. 

Children also have a tendency to be impulsive and overly excitable. I know with our dog, he would never purposely hurt a child. However, he has hurt them accidently in the past because a child has run around him and he took that as time to play and has knocked a child or two over in his time. So, we’ve had to explain to the children who play around him that Johnny thinks running is a game. 

We have started teaching our son how to pet Johnny. I’ve been trying to use the same language with our son that we have used with Johnny. For example, Johnny has been taught the word “gentle”. So, I use that word with our son. Whether this has any merit or not my thought process is that Johnny will hopefully take this as me teaching our son the same rules that he has. I also hope it will foster a sense of safety for Johnny that we aren’t going to let the little human hurt him or “annoy” him. I’m always watching Johnny to see if he looks like he’s getting uncomfortable. If he just wants to relax and doesn’t seem interested then I don’t force it. The overall goal with these little petting sessions has been to create a mutually positive interaction. My son loves Johnny too. The petting thing has entertained him for like fifteen minutes at a time. 

Rachel adds that the most important skills she thinks children should learn about interacting with dogs are to: 

-Always ask the owner if you can pet a dog 

-For the dog within the child’s home, I always teach the child to call the dog to you if you want to pet the dog, if the dog doesn’t come to you they don’t want pets. 

-Leave the dog alone when they are sleeping/on their bed/lying down. (Even babies who can’t talk can learn this)

-Leave the dog alone when they are eating

Some other ideas Rachel has for supervised activities your dog and child can do together include: 

-Fetch (ensuring the dog drops the ball before the child picks it up, as long as the dog isn’t possessive)

- Basic obedience (if the child can talk), having the child ask the dog to sit down, stay, come and reward the dog for doing the desired behaviours. 

- Hide and seek, have your child tell the dog to sit and stay, then go hide and have the dog come find them. 

- Enrichment games. Have the child fill a puzzle toy for the dog and give it to the dog.

-Do activities together such as going on a walk and making sure to give individual attention to both child and dog.

Children are not quiet little beings. My son currently enjoys screeching like a banshee. Is he upset, no! He just likes to hear the sound of his own voice as loud as audibly possible. 

This can be very troublesome for some dogs. So far and luckily for us Johnny doesn’t seem to care. However, a tip we took from our Vet while I was still pregnant was to play sounds of babies crying in our home so that he got used to it. Johnny was also exposed to a lot of children before our son was born as well so the noise doesn’t startle or phase him. 

If you don’t happen to have a dog that is chill around the baby noise. Rachel has a few tips you can try: 

She says “Have a safe space your dog can get away to when needed such as a crate or room. You can also give your dog an enrichment game/chew for the more stressful/loud times.

Rachel summarizes “If you are bringing home your first child, it is a very new experience for everyone (your dog included). Avoid forcing your dog to interact with the baby. Allow your dog to take their time. Everyone likes adjusting on their own time, no one wants to be forced, including your dog. It will benefit the relationship more, if the dog is able to choose when they want to interact. ALWAYS supervise your child when they are around ANY dog. All dogs are capable of biting and you can’t expect your young child to behave properly.” 

I think children who grow up with dogs are pretty lucky. Dogs teach so much about being loving and they are always happy to see us at the end of a tough day. I hope you have lots of pawsitive times ahead!